Whether you are a man or a woman, when you are in an intimate relationship, there is often a tendency to share details about this relationship with others, discussing the good and bad traits of one’s partner.

If the relationship is going well, and the partner is great, people tend to boast about how wonderful their partner is to show off how happy they are. This can lead to envy from others while providing a sense of vanity and satisfaction to the one sharing.

If the relationship is going poorly, or the partner has some minor flaws, they will likely share these negative details with outsiders to vent their unhappiness and to seek comfort and sympathy from others.

Talking about your relationship with others isn’t inherently wrong, but not all details are suitable to be shared. Doing so can significantly impact your relationship, and in serious cases, it might even lead to a breakup.

Here lies the greatest tragedy in relationships: problems that weren’t so significant can become exacerbated once shared recklessly with others, which may lead to bigger issues. Therefore, no matter how much you want to share, it is crucial to hold back and not disclose these two private matters:

Do Not Discuss Each Other’s Flaws and Weaknesses

Everyone has flaws; no one is perfect. When you chose your partner, you were attracted to their strengths and accepted their shortcomings. You cannot enjoy their strengths and then refuse to accept their weaknesses. If these are unbearable, you shouldn’t have started the relationship or gotten married, as marriage is a long commitment, and living with those flaws could become painful.

Why shouldn’t you discuss their flaws with others? It’s simple: whether it’s your partner, friend, or colleague, it’s inappropriate to casually mention others’ weaknesses—it equates to gossiping behind their back. Once spoken, these words can spread widely and might eventually reach your partner. If they hear from others about how you’ve complained about their flaws, it will cause them distress and embarrassment, and they might even start to resent you, complicating your relationship further.

Do Not Talk About Conflicts Between You and Your Partner

It’s common for people to share relational conflicts with outsiders, seeking validation or comfort. Men might vent to their friends over drinks, and women might discuss issues within their circle of friends, looking for advice or sympathy. However, this does not benefit your relationship; it only worsens it.

Friends and confidants usually only hear one side of the story. They are not privy to all the details and thus, their advice might not be helpful. In fact, it could even backfire, worsening the situation. Conflicts between couples are common and should be resolved together, not by relying on outsiders. Discussing these issues with others can intensify emotions and potentially escalate the anger toward your partner.

These two private matters should never be discussed carelessly with outsiders unless you do not wish for your relationship to improve. Whether it’s personal flaws or conflicts, avoid discussing these with others. Once words are spoken, like water splashed, they can never be taken back. These are issues between you and your partner; if there are things you dislike, discuss them privately with your partner to see if they can or are willing to change. If they truly love you, they might be willing to work on these issues.

Regarding your conflicts, it’s also best to keep them private. Discussing them with others won’t solve them and might even magnify the problems due to others amplifying the situation, which could significantly damage your relationship.

Remember, when chatting with others, do not speak hastily and share everything—it’s not only unhelpful but can also ruin your relationship.